Authenticity makes me happy, but you know what? It doesn’t necessarily make me financially wealthy. If anything, at times, it’s negatively affected my business’ bottom line. I’ve had losses such as people leaving my tribe by hitting the “unlike” and “unsubscribe” buttons. I’ve lost friends, acquaintances, and colleagues.
So many internet marketers and business coaches talk about how being authentic is so important in life and business. I agree with them. I do my best to really show up as the real me. I probably am not as successful (in a traditional sense) as I could be, since I don’t want to follow the formulas that work for others. Those formulas never work for me. Some will say that the formulas can be customized, which I disagree with a bit. If you paste in your information and details and even essence into a formula, it’s still a formula.
Living authentically for me means that I listen to my heart. It means that I contribute to the world in ways that feel good to me. There’s things I enjoy helping others with and I trust that the right people will find me.
I’ve not really found that authenticity pays the bills. I know that this will sound negative to some.
I’ve been on the planet for 40 some years and each year, I’ve found that my heart speaks to me louder and louder. It’s hard to ignore your heart’s messages and your callings. More and more, my definition of “success” basically is “just be happy.” I have found that when I’m happy, everything mostly falls into place. I’m not saying I’m happy all the time, but the more I am, the easier it is to be that way most of the time.
Some want me to be scowling, a depressed or dark punk rocker. That’s not me. I’m really more of a happy-go-lucky, very silly faerie. Yes, I’ve written a book about the rebel’s spiritual path. Yes, I’ve branded myself as “punk rock.” The thing is, punk rock for me has always been about being true to yourself. I don’t always listen to punk music or dress in a punk rock way. I just show up as me. Some days, it means I’m listening to Howlin’ Wolf and wearing jeans and a hoodie or yoga pants. It’s all good.
What about you? What’s your definition of authenticity? Share in the comments below.
I’ve been a student of the Universal laws for many years. One of my favorite Universal laws is the Law of Attraction, popularized by the movie, “The Secret.” Basically, the Law of Attraction states that you attract who you are, not only what you desire. Ponder this for a moment when it comes to your own life.
Lately, I’ve been pondering the Law of Attraction in my own business, more so than usual. An idea that I have learned in studying the work of Esther and Jerry Hicks’ Abraham teachings is clarity through contrast. Basically, clarity through contrast is the idea that you need to experience what you don’t want in order to know what you do want in life. Being clear on what you do desire in life is so very important. If you don’t know, you might find yourself wandering around in circles, going from one thing to the next, without any of the results you desire.
When it comes to my own business, I really believe in being transparent and honest, sharing my own thoughts and feelings. I’m always talking about how important it is to be the real you. Well, if I didn’t do that myself, I wouldn’t be a very good teacher. I like to do my best to walk my own talk. These are my intentions in writing this post–to walk my talk and be authentic.
For a while, I’ve been hesitant to share the following information. My human ego worried that I might piss some people off. Or, I might hurt someone’s feelings. Yet, the idea of clarity through contrast spoke to me strongly. Previously, I attracted some of the clients that are described below.
Last year, a wise coach I hired had me fill out a clarity through contrast worksheet when it came to my business. I listed all of the readings that I didn’t want to do any more. After I made my list, I attached a note to the Universe, basically saying, “Hey, I’m done with these types of readings and clients.” Soon after, really instantly, I no longer attracted clients who would request the types of readings that I no longer desired to give.
I never went into business with the intention to be all things to all people. Instead, my intention was to be of service to the people I enjoyed working with and who enjoy working with me. I decided to carve out my own niche, target market, etc., creating an authentic web presence that was from the heart.
Since it is my business, I decided that I can do things in my own way. I don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules. I also don’t have to give service in ways that don’t resonate with me.
I’m going to describe the readings that I don’t do below. I thought you might like to see the list that I made when I did my homework last year. By claiming what I don’t do, it helped me create my services in a way that felt right for me. As I write this blog post here, I’m working to develop packages of my services that feel in alignment with not only how I desire to work with others, but also, conversely, the ways I don’t wish to work with others.
I figure that if someone does not resonate with the list of readings that I don’t do or it creates some negativity in their being, that person is not my ideal client. There are tons of psychics, healers, and coaches to serve those who don’t resonate with me. I don’t live in a lack and limitation Universe, feeling that I have to serve everyone. I also honor others’ realities and I know they are most likely different from mine. It’s all good. I think it’s a U2 song that says, “We’re one, but we’re not the same.” Thank goodness we’re all different, bringing a variety of food to the buffet table of life.
Here’s my clarity through contrast list of readings that I DON’T do:
–I will not do readings for other people within your own reading. (I simply can’t give guidance that you’ll pass along to another person due to psychic (and my own) ethics.)
–I will not do readings about the lottery numbers or other gambling-oriented results information. (I once heard Sylvia Browne say something like, “Don’t you think I would have won by now?”)
–I will not do readings about whether there is infidelity in a relationship, whether it is your own relationship or another person’s. (I highly recommend counseling, instead of a psychic reading in these cases.)
–I will not do readings about what others are thinking. (I recommend that you ask them yourself!)
–I don’t do pet readings or animal communication. (I can give you a referral, however.)
–I don’t do readings about ghosts (earthbound spirits) or other entities. (I only will talk to kind, loving deceased loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side.)
–I don’t do readings about when you will get a job. (I only can provide guidance about steps spirit is showing that you need to take. And, well, if you don’t have a job, I wonder if you really be spending your precious money on a psychic reading? Please return for a reading when you’re financially stable and on another subject. I’d love to work with you then.)
–I don’t do readings about if/when someone will die (including yourself!). (I’m psychic, but this doesn’t mean I know everything. The divine doesn’t always allow me to be privy to all information.)
–I don’t do readings on areas/questions that you already asked me about. (Chances are, if you haven’t taken action on things, you will get the same guidance or reading on this stuff…again!)
–I don’t do readings on what you should do about a situation. (It’s up to you to decide. I only give guidance to help you with making your decisions!)
–I don’t do readings providing mundane details such as names, places, dates, etc. (I’m not your psychic version of Google.)
–I don’t do readings about the name, looks, characteristics of your future romantic partner. (I can give you details about how to manifest your ideal mate, but that’s it.)
–I don’t do readings about if your house will sell. (Of course, it will. Why don’t you talk to your real estate professional?)
–I don’t do readings on readings that you have had with other psychics. (I can’t continue on from where the other psychics left off. I can’t comment on or confirm what they said, etc. All psychics are tapped in to the divine in different ways.)
–I don’t do readings that ask me to psychically spy on a third or other party. (Not ethical at all, in my opinion.)
–I don’t do readings where you expect me to dazzle, entertain, or impress you. (I’m not that sort of girl.)
–I don’t do readings for you when you’re really desperate financially. (Save your money for groceries and other essentials! I will refuse you service. If you really feel you need a reading, I offer a sliding scale, which I don’t overtly advertise, that you can request.)
–I don’t do readings on medical issues. (I can refer you to an appropriate medical professional for your situation.)
–I don’t do readings on the outcome of legal situation, including criminal or civil matters. (Yep, you need to defer to your attorney, not a psychic!)
–I don’t do readings focused too much either on the past or future. (I prefer to focus on the present and immediate future. It’s very rare to get information in readings that is too far off into the future. I tend to work with the next 3-6 months to 12 months or, up to 2-3 years maximum.)
Yes, it required courage for me to write about this stuff. I’d rather be 100% honest with you, instead of sugar-coating things. By the way, if you read this and found yourself having a negative reaction to some or any of it, good. It’s showing you were you need to do some work on yourself.
My list also will help you to know where you stand in regards to your beliefs about psychic work. I’d love to hear how you feel about my view of psychic readings. I say we can learn from each other. And, all views are right. I’m simply providing this list as food-for-thought, as well as a conversation starter.
I also wanted to honestly share a part of my healing process from working with a coach. I sincerely hope that you will see how this stuff works. By me getting clear on what I don’t do, it helped me to create what I desired to do. (My new packages will be launched soon. Stay tuned for more details.)
I took my clarity through contrast worksheet one step further. I wrote down the opposite of each statement. I used the positive statements to focus on in my manifestation work, along with developing services. I also wrote down the positive statements as affirmations. I found all of this work from a year ago recently. I referred to my homework as inspiration in creating new packages.
It’s powerful to say “no” in your business. After all, it is your business. You have every right to work in the ways that feel best for you. Do what makes your heart sing. You don’t have to try to be all things to all people in your business. I once read that specialists had more fun than generalists. (I’ve seen some internet marketers write that specialists make more money than generalists too. Nice to know, but I’m focused on the fun aspect mostly.)
Chances are, if you have your own business, you left the corporate world or working for someone else so that you can enjoy your work more. You don’t have to live by others’ rules. Your business can be whatever you decide it to be–it is yours, after all.
So, what do you think about saying “no” in your business? Does it feel scary or liberating? How do you show up authentically in your own business? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share.
I’ve been on a journey these past few months. It’s the journey to find my voice. (No, I haven’t had laryngitis.)
When I talk about finding my voice, I’m talking about these sorts of things:
–Finding the core message I would like to share with the world
–Reinventing my vocals so that they fit with rock and roll styles of guitar
–Journaling about life lessons to get clear on who I am and where I’m heading
–Experimenting with different writings for a book that I’m writing
–Thinking about the direction of my career as a psychic
–Retooling my radio show so that I’m speaking from my authentic core
I’m actually been on this journey for much longer than three months. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been working on getting heard. I always seem to surround myself with folks who are more loud, talkative, and expressive verbally than myself. Lately, this is shifting and I’m meeting people who listen to me. It’s such a nice sigh of relief. I feel more heard, and well, loved.
Even though I’m soft-spoken and use few words during in-person interactions, I still have an intensity, along with passion, and an opinionated part of me. Sometimes, these more edgy energies come out in my creative activities such as when I play electric guitar, write in my journal, write here in this blog, or in the past, when I did artwork such as drawing or painting when I was younger. I studied political science in college, so also, engage me in political discussion and you’ll see a different side to me!
Other times, my edge shows up in conversations with people that I really love and trust. These are the people that I allow to see the real me. When you’re trying to find your authentic expression, it helps to feel safe. To feel safe, you need to surround yourself with people who won’t make fun of your voice. Sometimes, I’m a bit of a wimp with sharing my voice. I will hide my writings for months. I also still won’t sing in front of my husband (this will have to shift very soon since we are working towards creating a band or other music project!). I’ve balanced my throat (5th) chakra until the cows have come home, so please, no lectures on energies. Oh yeah, I get it too that I was probably killed in a past life for speaking up. Been there, done that many times!
I had a big realization on a recent trip during a moment near Mother Ocean. I realized that I’ve been reluctant to share my edgy energy in my psychic readings. When I say “edgy,” I’m not talking about swearing at clients. I’m not talking about being abrasive or insensitive. I’m talking about telling it more like it is, which I already do to some extent. I think it’s time for me to let more of the Punk Rock Psychic out of hiding.
I recently attended a class that is going to propel me to get my message out there in the world. I believe in doing things that really make my ego squirm. The things that make me scared–or, at least, make me have a mild case of stage fright. But, it’s so important to do these scary things. They get me out of my comfort zone. It helps me to reach more people and to help them more.
But, more about allowing the Punk Rock Psychic out. I think it’s really punk rock to be loving and kind in a world that is sometimes harsh. Being loving doesn’t mean you don’t have an edge. It just means that you really give a fuck about people. I really care about people, and it’s always been my goal to help as many as possible. It doesn’t serve you if I sugar-coat everything in readings. I let you know about the obstacles and challenges in a positive way. No, there’s not any dark, forboding forces at work in your life.
As I’ve said before, I’m not a fortune-teller. Yet, some of you ask me things like, “When will I get a job?” or “When will I meet my soulmate?” I relate ’cause I’m human too and want to know when stuff will happen. I only can give you a time frame. It’s up to you to do the work required to make the good shit happen in your life. I’m here to give you psychic information about how to create your dreams, how to heal, and how to move forward. I don’t have the lottery numbers. I don’t want to talk about your cheating spouse–please, get some counseling!
Okay, I feel better since I got that stuff off of my chest…
About a year ago, I created this website as therapy for myself. I was really tired of the misconceptions about psychic work. I was tired of trying to conform to fit in some box of purple fluff in my field. So, I thought I’d do things my own way. It felt good and liberating…for a while.
I notice that I still encounter clients that want me to give them their answers. They want me to make their decisions. This is not cool with me. I’ve been working on switching my life mission around to not only be a psychic, but also, to be a spiritual teacher. I feel called to help others find their own empowerment. This mission has always been my intention.
Of course, I attract less and less clients wanting me to be their authority. This has been a big relief. I only can be my own inner authority. I can’t tell anyone else how to live.
I’ve been accused of being like a life coach. I don’t really get why this is a problem. I just happen to bring the psychic information in a way that is down-to-earth. Most information from spirit is very practical. Spirit gives us small steps to follow. It is simple information. I refuse to put away my spiritual coach side and healer hat as a psychic. I want to give you more than a reading. I desire to help you to transform! I’m not here for your entertainment. I take this shit very seriously. I want to help you, so I bring all of my tools to the table. If you show up committed to the process of your own growth and healing, I can help you the most.
Watch for things to shift a bit here in my offerings and writings. Also, be on the lookout for my punk rock edge. I’ve been quiet and sweet for way too long. My loving side will never go away though, so no worries.
As for finding my voice, I appreciate you reading this small effort towards that goal. Soon, you will hear me more too. More radio shows and yikes, a video channel will soon follow.
In finding your own voice, you might want to consider these questions:
1) Where do I hold myself back from expressing my inner truth?
2) When I talk, write, or create, am I really expressing the real me?
The answers to these questions will astound you. Let me know what you discover. I’d love to hear from you about what you found out by answering those 2 questions. Feel free to leave a comment here!
I love it when you get guidance from unexpected sources. I especially enjoy when quotes or messages in my daily life cause me to reflect on my own life.
I drink Yogi™ Teas. Here’s the website if you are interested: http://www.yogiproducts.com/ (By the way, I don’t get any kickbacks or financial reward for sharing–I have to have this disclaimer on my blog).
What I enjoy the most about their teas is that they have these little tags with gems of wisdom. Of course, the tea is delicious, but the little messages make my day. It’s similar to getting a message from a fortune cookie.
This week, I had two messages from the tea bag tags that were quite fitting for me. The one basically said if you don’t realize who you are, you can’t have happiness. If you know me, I’m all about being authentic. I make my social media content all about authenticity, non-conforming, and how to be the real you.
The other tea bag message was basically talking about the difference between knowledge and wisdom. The difference is that personal experience makes both more real. I’ve often wondered if my experiences would benefit anyone. In the past, I’ve been reluctant to share my life, especially the really personal parts. I wondered if it would really matter or make a difference to others. The truth is…all of us have wisdom to share.
I love it when people share their lives. It’s fun to read people’s updates on social media such as Facebook and Twitter. I enjoy it when people share books, links, or quotes that are helpful in some way.
I’ve been thinking about the ideas of authenticity, wisdom, and knowledge when it comes to my own marketing, writing, and psychic readings. I seem to be allergic to bullshit, so certain marketing methodologies do not work for me. I really work hard to share high value content without doing a hard sale. Plus, I’m more interested in building relationships versus adding to my social media numbers just for the sake of having numbers. I do share a bit of my work in these outlets, but I work hard to do it from a place of love, integrity, and authenticity.
I’ve studied marketing for years and what really stands out for me is that it’s more fun to work with people that you enjoy and who enjoy and resonate with you. I feel like the right people will be attracted to me naturally, so I allow some of this process of building my business to occur organically. I don’t like to push myself on you and sell, sell, sell.
I’m also a consumer so I’m super mindful to not do the annoying marketing methods or techniques to you. Friends of mine and I this week have been discussing this marketing stuff openly and privately. You know where you get the daily email blasts that clutter your email box? Or, you opt-in to someone’s mailing list and it feels like robots are answering your emails? I’ve also had people friend me on social media and then, right off the bat sell me their book, supplement, juice, learning system, VIP coaching, or other products. Yikes, can’t we be “friends” first? It reminds me of a first date and then, the guy wants more. (I’m so glad I’m married to a great guy, by the way!).
I realize that marketing is necessary. I’m not bad-mouthing it. I’m just saying that there has to be a different way, a way that truly honors people as consumers. I don’t like any methods that hit you over the head. I’m sure you don’t either.
Not to state the obvious, but I’m a bit rebellious. I don’t really want to do the traditional marketing methods. I know how to do them, but I’d rather keep it real. I also want to keep it personal. I don’t want to be another anonymous entity on the internet or social media. I like to have fun and get to know people. It’s how I aspire to be in life, both off-line and on-line.
I’ve been working on my own marketing model. I desire simply to be of service to you. I don’t really have aspirations of being the most famous psychic in the world. I simply enjoy being a messenger of the divine to help others. I have a life mission of helping people to utilize their intuition more in life.
People privately ask me why I don’t ever go for bigger things. I had at least 20 people ask me why I didn’t send an audition video in for Oprah’s search for new hosts on her new network. To be honest, I don’t want a day job like that! I prefer to be my own boss. I don’t mind working hard and believe me, I do, probably harder than I’d work if I had a job. But, I love owning my own business. It is truly liberating and fun. I like defining success as freedom and happiness. The rest is just details.
Thanks for listening to my rant about marketing. I appreciate you as a reader or client or follower of my work. I really enjoy being of service to you. You rock!
(Even mother nature has PUNK rock! photo credit: ucumari, Flickr, Creative Commons License)
I’ve been involved in the healing arts since 1998 when I became a massage therapist. Stereotypically, this field is associated with what is often termed as “crunchy granola’s” or “hippies.” It’s your classic dawning of the Age of Aquarius type of energy. Imagine people dancing around naked at the full moon. Some call it New Age. Or, others call it metaphysical. I’m grateful for the roots of my industry, but I’m a rather grounded, practical type of person. So, I’ve learned to still be authentic and be the real me while navigating through the sea of spiritual ideas which are huge right now in the marketplace.
No matter what you call it all, I love it. It’s all about helping others. It’s about making the world a better place. My punk rock side resonated with the idea of not being mainstream in the approaches to healing myself and helping others with their own healing process. I felt punk rock to be carving out my own spiritual path.
I myself have always loved the uniqueness that people express. It’s truly fun and enjoyable. I truly believe that there is room in my industry for people of all walks of life. I like the idea that we are all One, but with our own uniqueness that is needed in the world as part of our purpose. Being different makes the world a better place. It would be certainly boring if everyone believed, acted, dressed, or lived in the same way.
But, there is one thing I’ve noticed through the years of taking classes and being in groups both in-person and on-line. There is still judgment or non-acceptance of others who are different from what is considered the norm in spiritual circles or groups of lightworkers.
At first, this shocked me because I thought a bunch of healers or do-gooders would be the least judgmental people around. I often wondered, “Don’t they know about Joe Strummer’s idea that punk rock is about helping your fellow human?”
But, you know, we are human and still learning. I worked to not take it personally. I always thought that my big heart and loving energy would be what most people noticed the most in me. But, that hasn’t always been the case in my experience.
I’m not sure who first coined the term lightworker, but for me, it is just another label. Labels carry stereotypes with them. Our human side sometimes needs them in order to classify information or yes, groups of people. I’m not saying that labels resonate with me completely, however.
In some groups, I’ve had fellow lightworkers make assumptions about me as a lightworker. They assume I followed the mold. I have shown up in punk t-shirts to meetings only to be ridiculed for liking “low vibrating music.” I mean, am I supposed to listen to New Age music all day?
I’ve been judged for drinking coffee or eating fish. Am I supposed to be a raw vegan, consuming only high vibrational substances? (Been there, done that with the raw vegan bit for two years and back to being more balanced with my diet). I just do my best, which is all anyone can do really. I try my best to be healthy and eat low on the food chain. And, yeah, once in a while at a rockabilly or punk concert, I may have 1-2 beers.
And, god forbid that I express any negative thoughts or have a bad day in any lightworker circle. I’ll be quickly reminded that I attracted it to me via the law of attraction. It’s the same energy when you’re going to parochial school and the teacher smacks your hand with a ruler for getting an answer in class wrong. Yes, it all feels very similar, in my book.
I know that this post might ruffle some feathers. It might even make someone cry. So, don’t choose to be offended! In spiritual circles, people talk about choice and how much of it we have to create our own realities.
So, toughen up!
Some lightworkers that I’ve encountered in on-line forums profess to be so sensitive that they can’t bear the sight of words, images, or conversations about anything negative. I often wonder how it is they can function in today’s world? There is negativity in the world, but being an observer of it is not necessarily a bad thing. If you are neutral, you can be a powerful channel for prayer and healing. I admit that I don’t watch the news much, but when I do, I set my intention to help others via my prayers and loving energies sent to them. It is one way I give back.
To me, it’s ridiculous to make rules about how lightworkers should dress, behave, eat, or act. It is ridiculous to say that a healer or anyone desiring to make the world a better place needs to listen to calm, soothing music all of the time. Sometimes, it’s helpful to listen to more active, even angry music to process through emotions and feelings. Different people need different energies in order to heal. I myself don’t dwell in the pain or despair, I move forward. It heals my punk rock soul to workout or cry to a good punk rock playlist.
I know that I risk sounding judgmental in observing the judgmental behavior of others towards me. It’s just hard for me when some people profess to be loving and accepting, but then, turn around and judge others. There are positive people who express differently than most traditional or stereotypical lightworkers. I’m one of them. There are many more out there too.
It’s interesting at times for me to feel like I don’t fit into society and also, in my own industry which is not always seen as mainstream. I’m too old now to get upset when others do not resonate with me. I still do my best to be loving towards others, but I don’t waste time fretting about how I may have disturbed a “sensitive” person with my punk rock looks or energy. Oh, please, get over it. Become confident in your own self. Then, you won’t have to criticize others. Love yourself and you won’t mind that others are different from you.
And, besides, not all punk rock music is negative. I was driving one day and heard this song by Rick Thorne’s band Good Guys in Black called “Whoa Yeah.” It’s a positive punk rock song that I’ll leave you with. Sounds like Rick gets “the secret” (also know as the law of attraction):